Chapter 12 deals with Death and Spirituality. In life, our spirit carries us from birth to death. Regardless of all the genetic developments within our bodies, our spirit provides purpose and meaning in our lives. In this chapter, it is argued that our spirituality is in relation with religion. In addition, our spirit does not develop with age. Although there is some truth to these two facts, our spirituality is developed by what is learned throughout the course of life. And spirituality will define our soul which will leave a legacy on earth after we're gone.
Religion involves a practice of beliefs based on culture, ethnicity and heritage. Every religion represents several aspects of spirituality and each aspect represents your purpose in life. Psychologist Viktor Frankl provided three stages of spirituality, which are the somatic dimension (physical), the psychological dimension (personality) and the noetic dimension (roots). These stages, as noted in Chapter 12 of LifeSmart, result from the influences that are learned and the ability to reinvent ourselves when change is needed in our lives (LifeSmart, 293). I've always had faults and those faults caught up with me after losing my marriage. However, it was for my own good because I've learned to reinvent myself and understand things more clearly than I have before. One example is that I'm listening more to my children and others. At the same time, I take into account other people's feelings and work towards a solution that can benefit that person along with myself. As a young boy, I was always reserved and calm most of the time. Being calm is an example of having an influence like my mom who knew how to be calm and that influence is developed in my spirituality. Parenting, teaching or mentoring is the greatest religion to have in order to understand your purpose in life.
Again, our spirituality will define our soul which will leave a legacy on earth after we're gone. Something as simple as calmness goes a long way for me because as an African-American male, we are looked at as violent, lazy and undisciplined in today's society. However, what is displayed on TV and the internet cannot be used as a way to judge others. Learn an individual first and you will truly know someone's spirit.
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Week 6 - Early and Middle Adulthood
In this weeks readings in LifeSmart, chapters 9 and 10 deal with early and middle adulthood. This begins the moment you graduate from high school till the time you hit your 50's. Adulthood is challenging, thought-provoking, wisdom-seeking and crisis managing all rolled into one. There is so much responsibility that adults take on and having the courage and discipline is important to manage through life's obstacles. At the age of 41, two points in chapters 9 and 10 are points I've learned after having the wrong idea about them during my early adulthood years. Those points are intimacy and midcareer challenges.
I got married on December 21, 1993 and I was only a junior in college. I wanted to be married because I didn't want to feel alone. I was definitely in the Erikson theory of isolation versus intimacy. I wanted to be loved but I didn't know how to love. In addition, my views of intimacy was not what I expected. As most young adults, we believe intimacy is sexual intercourse and that is far from the truth. In chapter 9 of LifeSmart, Erikson pointed out that sexual intercourse should not be assumed to be the most important aspect of intimacy between individuals. By intimacy, Erikson means the ability to relate one's deepest hopes and fears to another person and to accept another's need for intimacy in turn (LifeSmart, 219). I can say today that is what happened to my marriage after 18 years. Although I'm separated and soon to be divorced, I understand that true intimacy is what God intends for me to have later in life.
It is amazing that as I got married at a young age, I had to get out into the work force soon after I graduated from college. When I graduated from college in May 1995, I had a job lined up and I needed it because my wife was 3 months pregnant. I got into the financial arena and I have been in it for almost 20 years. Well guess what, I'm studying to become a teacher, coach and athletic director. Career change is coming. I'm in the midcareer challenge. This stage usually happens around 40 because you have a clear understanding as to whether he or she will make it to the top of their field (LifeSmart, 249). That was how I felt at the age of around 35 or 36 because I was in the same position at my company for about 6 to 7 years. I wanted to go back to school and get a degree in education administration. The challenge, however, was money and time. That all changed after the separation and I enrolled back in school for my teaching certification. What has become more challenging is that when it was close to getting started for school, I did get promoted at work. I had to seek God for advice and the call to educate, mentor and lead young people is all I think about to this day. Though God has proven that had made a way for me in the career I've been involved in for so long, He has a bigger purpose for me in the field of education. There is no more midcareer challenges at this point.
Again, adulthood is challenging, thought-provoking, wisdom-seeking and crisis managing all rolled into one. In dealing with the stages of intimacy and midcareer challenges, I have gained more wisdom and understanding of who I really am. Although we hope to understand who we are when we're teenagers, there is a more clearer sense of judgment when you get out on your own and see things more differently instead of the bubble you are in as a teenager.
I got married on December 21, 1993 and I was only a junior in college. I wanted to be married because I didn't want to feel alone. I was definitely in the Erikson theory of isolation versus intimacy. I wanted to be loved but I didn't know how to love. In addition, my views of intimacy was not what I expected. As most young adults, we believe intimacy is sexual intercourse and that is far from the truth. In chapter 9 of LifeSmart, Erikson pointed out that sexual intercourse should not be assumed to be the most important aspect of intimacy between individuals. By intimacy, Erikson means the ability to relate one's deepest hopes and fears to another person and to accept another's need for intimacy in turn (LifeSmart, 219). I can say today that is what happened to my marriage after 18 years. Although I'm separated and soon to be divorced, I understand that true intimacy is what God intends for me to have later in life.
It is amazing that as I got married at a young age, I had to get out into the work force soon after I graduated from college. When I graduated from college in May 1995, I had a job lined up and I needed it because my wife was 3 months pregnant. I got into the financial arena and I have been in it for almost 20 years. Well guess what, I'm studying to become a teacher, coach and athletic director. Career change is coming. I'm in the midcareer challenge. This stage usually happens around 40 because you have a clear understanding as to whether he or she will make it to the top of their field (LifeSmart, 249). That was how I felt at the age of around 35 or 36 because I was in the same position at my company for about 6 to 7 years. I wanted to go back to school and get a degree in education administration. The challenge, however, was money and time. That all changed after the separation and I enrolled back in school for my teaching certification. What has become more challenging is that when it was close to getting started for school, I did get promoted at work. I had to seek God for advice and the call to educate, mentor and lead young people is all I think about to this day. Though God has proven that had made a way for me in the career I've been involved in for so long, He has a bigger purpose for me in the field of education. There is no more midcareer challenges at this point.
Again, adulthood is challenging, thought-provoking, wisdom-seeking and crisis managing all rolled into one. In dealing with the stages of intimacy and midcareer challenges, I have gained more wisdom and understanding of who I really am. Although we hope to understand who we are when we're teenagers, there is a more clearer sense of judgment when you get out on your own and see things more differently instead of the bubble you are in as a teenager.
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Week 5 - Identity Crisis
Who am I? I had to learn that from the time I started junior high school all the way until I graduated from high school. Chapter 8 focuses on the Adolescence phase. From the time they graduate from middle school to when they graduate from high school, teenagers truly struggle mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually during the course of their adolescence. And yes, I did say spiritually. Having the proper spirit will help teenagers make the proper choices. Again, I had to ask the question, "Who am I", because we all have ask that about ourselves during this crazy phase we call adolescence.
When I ask the question, "Who am I", the question that is being asked is what is your state of identity? Psychologists Erik Erickson, James Marcia and John Hill have different views regarding adolescence and how identity is developed. Yet, Erikson and Hill's views relate to an adjustment period I've experience during seventh grade. When my family moved us out to Hazel Crest from Chicago, I used to act like other people in school in order to fit in. It took a young girl that wrote in my seventh grade yearbook to tell me that I'm a nice guy but I would be a great guy if I just be myself. That stuck with me and it took football to help shape my identity when I entered eighth grade. Along with good parenting and watching a quality man named Walter Payton rushing the football for the Chicago Bears, I develop an identity of being special based on my interest. Therefore, I had experienced a case of identity crisis.
Erikson noted on page 194 of LifeSmart, that adolescence is a time of intensive exploration and analysis of ways of looking at oneself. Identity foreclosure, one of four identity statues noted by Marcia, played a part with developing my identity through my parents. My parents instilled confidence in me through karate school and I had enough confidence to participate in other interest like football. As stated in previous blogs, role modeling influences a young person's identity and a young person would have a general idea of their identity as they move into adulthood.
Again, teenagers truly struggle mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually during the course of their adolescence. As they get a handle on these states, they will develop their identity. As a former Superman fan, many of the origin stories focuses on how a young Clark Kent struggled with his true
identity. But it took good parents to let Clark know that he had to be patient with adjusting to his powers and they continued to let him know that he is destined for great things. What this says is that good role modeling, especially from parents, develops the identity of young people. In addition, young people would adapt their talents and gifts to do great things each and every day.
When I ask the question, "Who am I", the question that is being asked is what is your state of identity? Psychologists Erik Erickson, James Marcia and John Hill have different views regarding adolescence and how identity is developed. Yet, Erikson and Hill's views relate to an adjustment period I've experience during seventh grade. When my family moved us out to Hazel Crest from Chicago, I used to act like other people in school in order to fit in. It took a young girl that wrote in my seventh grade yearbook to tell me that I'm a nice guy but I would be a great guy if I just be myself. That stuck with me and it took football to help shape my identity when I entered eighth grade. Along with good parenting and watching a quality man named Walter Payton rushing the football for the Chicago Bears, I develop an identity of being special based on my interest. Therefore, I had experienced a case of identity crisis.
Erikson noted on page 194 of LifeSmart, that adolescence is a time of intensive exploration and analysis of ways of looking at oneself. Identity foreclosure, one of four identity statues noted by Marcia, played a part with developing my identity through my parents. My parents instilled confidence in me through karate school and I had enough confidence to participate in other interest like football. As stated in previous blogs, role modeling influences a young person's identity and a young person would have a general idea of their identity as they move into adulthood.
Again, teenagers truly struggle mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually during the course of their adolescence. As they get a handle on these states, they will develop their identity. As a former Superman fan, many of the origin stories focuses on how a young Clark Kent struggled with his true
identity. But it took good parents to let Clark know that he had to be patient with adjusting to his powers and they continued to let him know that he is destined for great things. What this says is that good role modeling, especially from parents, develops the identity of young people. In addition, young people would adapt their talents and gifts to do great things each and every day.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Week 4 - Childhood Siblings and Self Esteem
There are several stages a child goes through during their early development. Chapters 6 and 7 of LifeSmart provides detailed information when someone goes from early childhood to middle school. Stages of physical, language, social, gender, cognitive and moral developments are part of a child's early development. Through it all, two stages that are important in the growth of today's child is the role of the sibling and a child's self-esteem. These two stages are magnified by my two boys, Matthew and Keshawn.
The role of siblings, as described in chapter 6 of LifeSmart, create a unique family environment and play a critical role in socialization. During the early stages of childhood, older siblings take on the role of caregiver and the child learns about the needs of others. My boy's relationship with each other is such a joy to watch. I've never mentioned this to my class, but I've been separated from their mom for over 2 years. I told my oldest boy, Matthew that he has to care for his younger brother, Keshawn, without me being there everyday. To this day, they get along wonderfully. Also, Keshawn wants to play basketball, play video games and become a boy scout like Matthew. This past Saturday, Matthew held Keshawn's legs when he was swinging on the monkey bars at the park. Matthew has become a great role model for Keshawn to emulate and it will help both of their developments as they grow to be fine young men.
Chapter 7 of LifeSmart details how the aspects of self-concept and self-esteem helps the development of a child during their middle years. Psychologist Erik Erikson describes middle childhood in the life stage he called industry versus inferiority. It's a time when children use their tools and skills to acquire a feeling of satisfaction at the completion of satisfactory work. By developing their self-concept, a child will develop their self-esteem. As I mentioned earlier, Matthew is a boy scout and boy scouts has provided him a sense of self-worth for earning his merit badges and scout ranks. In addition, I've been teaching Matthew how to swim and I've put him through basketball workouts. He was afraid to swim last year and, today, he has gotten pretty good. Swimming is a merit badge he needs to obtain in boy scouts and he could well be on his way to getting that badge at boy scout summer camp. He was going through a rough year because he's had to transfer schools three times in the last year. However, with his accomplishments in boy scouts, swimming, school and basketball, Matthew self-esteem has developed considerably.
Again, the role of siblings and the development of self-esteem has been significant for individuals from early childhood to middle school. As I sit hear writing this blog, the news is showing the continuous violence and craziness that is going on in the world. From the shooting at Seattle Pacific University to the stabbing of a young girl in Wisconsin, life development of individuals is not taken seriously in our communities and in our schools. We are on a path of destruction and childhood development is a single important stage in developing a righteous life.
The role of siblings, as described in chapter 6 of LifeSmart, create a unique family environment and play a critical role in socialization. During the early stages of childhood, older siblings take on the role of caregiver and the child learns about the needs of others. My boy's relationship with each other is such a joy to watch. I've never mentioned this to my class, but I've been separated from their mom for over 2 years. I told my oldest boy, Matthew that he has to care for his younger brother, Keshawn, without me being there everyday. To this day, they get along wonderfully. Also, Keshawn wants to play basketball, play video games and become a boy scout like Matthew. This past Saturday, Matthew held Keshawn's legs when he was swinging on the monkey bars at the park. Matthew has become a great role model for Keshawn to emulate and it will help both of their developments as they grow to be fine young men.
Chapter 7 of LifeSmart details how the aspects of self-concept and self-esteem helps the development of a child during their middle years. Psychologist Erik Erikson describes middle childhood in the life stage he called industry versus inferiority. It's a time when children use their tools and skills to acquire a feeling of satisfaction at the completion of satisfactory work. By developing their self-concept, a child will develop their self-esteem. As I mentioned earlier, Matthew is a boy scout and boy scouts has provided him a sense of self-worth for earning his merit badges and scout ranks. In addition, I've been teaching Matthew how to swim and I've put him through basketball workouts. He was afraid to swim last year and, today, he has gotten pretty good. Swimming is a merit badge he needs to obtain in boy scouts and he could well be on his way to getting that badge at boy scout summer camp. He was going through a rough year because he's had to transfer schools three times in the last year. However, with his accomplishments in boy scouts, swimming, school and basketball, Matthew self-esteem has developed considerably.
Again, the role of siblings and the development of self-esteem has been significant for individuals from early childhood to middle school. As I sit hear writing this blog, the news is showing the continuous violence and craziness that is going on in the world. From the shooting at Seattle Pacific University to the stabbing of a young girl in Wisconsin, life development of individuals is not taken seriously in our communities and in our schools. We are on a path of destruction and childhood development is a single important stage in developing a righteous life.
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